It sure is December, folks. And you know what that means: I must tell you what to do with your money.
But seriously: If you’re looking for some fun seasonal gifts that can also help me keep doing cool stuff in 2024, read on.
I continue to make weird collage art no one has asked for (and also bootleg podcast merch)
I have a TeePublic shop. I also have a Redbubble shop. You can trade currency for physical goods at either of these virtual locations.
Some of my designs are purposefully mediocre, like this sticker that combines a Live, Laugh, Love motif with the lyrics of Rob Zombie’s Dragula and which has been surprisingly popular (read: three strangers have bought it, yielding me something like 25 cents total in profit) and this Saturn Devouring His Girl Dinner shirt. Others are silly but quite close to my heart, like this “working on my bog body” t-shirt (which is currently on sale! wow). You can also find some esoteric Weirdest Thing references (smoke enema t-shirts and satanic potato stickers) as well as some more straightforward Weirdest Thing references.
I’ve also made some actual-ish art that I’m varying degrees of proud of, like this sweatshirt about gay longing, this sapphic witchy space collage, and this little retro-futuristic daydream I’ve been using as my desktop background for the last few months.
If you’re looking for some bold text on a classic piece of art (who isn’t??) I’ve got girls, more girls, and only girls for you to pick from. I also sell pieces that warn your guests to wash their hands and watch their mouths.
I make basically no money when you buy these things, but I don’t make literally no money. And it makes me happy to see people purchase them! So do that, maybe.
Baby needs a new pair of shoes
It’s me. I’m baby. This shoe brand has a solid rating when it comes to sustainability and ethics. It also has this thing where I can give you $50 off your first purchase and you can get me $50 off of mine. There’s also a sale on. How serendipitous. Maybe we could come to some sort of arrangement? Where you click this link and buy shoes. Really makes you think.
A knock-off LED lamp I truly adore
After many months of almost-buying a Philips Hue floor lamp to keep by my desk, I recently splurged significantly less on a knock-off from the brand Govee. I’m really thrilled with it! I highly recommend their stuff if you’re looking for vibe-y lighting. If you use this referral link, your first purchase will help support me in my endeavor to buy more vibe-y lighting.
Donate!
You probably don’t actually need more stuff. It’s okay if you buy more stuff anyway. Would that I could judge! But whether or not you go shopping, consider making some donations this holiday season. My personal picks are Islamic Relief USA, the Palestine Red Crescent Society, UNRWA, World Central Kitchen, MSF, Lilith Fund, Plan C, Jewish Voice for Peace, IfNotNow, Transgender Law Center, Justice Outside, The Audre Lorde Project, the LCS Food Pantry at St. Stephen’s, and The Center.
Buy an actual physical copy of my book (please I beg)
A few weeks ago, I received the truly stupendous news that I sold roughly one copy of my audiobook each day in 2023. I was gobsmacked, thrilled, etc. Then I found out that I’d netted minus $500 in royalties. The fact that both of these things can be true should probably be enough to convince me to never write a book again (whoops too late) but it also means that you can really, directly improve my QoL by buying a physical copy of my book.
Here’s my pitch: It’s not wasteful! I know for a fact there are enough copies already printed and sitting in a warehouse somewhere for everyone who reads this newsletter to order, like, 10 of them. So if you enjoyed my book in audio form, or read it on an e-ink device, or borrowed it from your local library, or stole it from a Barnes and Noble, please consider purchasing a copy as well. You can give it to a friend, donate it to Housing Works, use it to make weird papier-mâché—the possibilities are endless. No additional trees will be harmed and I’ll be more likely to sell my next book proposal. Cool! Neat.
Coffee! Yum yum yum.
I continue to really like getting coffee from Cometeer. If you want to try Cometeer, which sends frozen coffee concentrates straight to your door for quick and easy fancy coffee drinking, you can use this link to get a discount and also give me a discount. Important note: You can use the dry ice to make spooky fog.
Skincare! Yum yum yum.
You can buy a lot of different kinds of stuff from Dermstore. I sometimes get stuff from there also. Here’s a code for 15% off.
Keep my favorite weird/ethical/size-inclusive clothing brand afloat
Fashion Brand Company doesn’t have a referral program, but I will be deeply unhappy if they ever stop selling their excellent clothes and it kinda seems like maybe AMC is suing them for putting the entire Nicole Kidman commercial on a dress in rhinestones. I recently got this crop top covered in deep sea fish and these wide-leg linen pants with suspenders, and together they make the coolest outfit I’ve ever had the pleasure of putting on my person. You can buy really good jeans there! You can buy a linen bonnet! You can buy mesh leggings covered in the same print as a pair of American Girl Doll tights from the ‘90s! You can buy a sailor set for your baby! A Twin Peaks diner dress! A patchwork jacket I'm currently considering selling my hair so I can buy! This place has it all. Please support them so I can keep also supporting them.
Listen to Audiobooks while supporting indie bookstores (and also Rachel Feltman)
I love Libro.fm. Everyone knows this. They sent me a beanie last Christmas and I wear it everywhere. I long at all times to be asked about the beanie so that I might spread the Good Word on Libro.fm, which is a one-stop-shop for buying audiobooks and supporting small businesses. There are a couple of ways you can get on the Libro.fm train while also supporting me, Rachel Feltman.
First, you can use my affiliate link to buy credit bundles. You can buy credit bundles either for yourself or to send as a digital gift. Each credit is good for one audiobook, and the CREDITS ARE ON SALE OH WOW THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Run, don’t walk! And use my affiliate link.
You can also use my referral code to sign up for a monthly Libro.fm membership. You just pay for (and of course receive) one book credit a month, which is a great way to a) remind yourself to read a dang book and b) remind yourself to support a dang small business and c) help me get a free audiobook for my troubles. Listening to an audiobook is pretty much the only thing I enjoy doing when my chronic fatigue and/or brain fog get really severe, so I can’t overstate how utterly unhinged my audiobook consumption rate has become. I toggle between various streaming and library apps to get all the free audiobooks I can in a month, then I cough up more money for Libro.fm and tell myself that at least I’m not funding Daddy Bezos’s new set of nested yachts. So do me a solid and smash that subscribe button!
An update for the real ones who scrolled all the way down: Jess and I are working on an agreement with PopSci’s parent company to keep Weirdest Thing alive in 2024. We’re optimistic! One way or another, we’re planning on releasing some WT-adjacent bonus content early in the new year on Patreon. If you can afford a paid membership, you can help us get other cool projects cooking while we’re figuring out the future of WT. We really appreciate it!